X: Am too lazy to write a proper entry

Thursday, December 27, 2007
Am too lazy to write a proper entry

so I'll post what I posted on another blog of a woman who's discovering she might have ADD.
You down with ADD, yeah you know me


Hi, sounds exactly like me. I was diagnosed with ADD. I really wish I had an offical diagnosis when I was younger (actually I was pretty sure but didn't know what to do about it.) The not doing ANYTHING, being really creative but not setting plans in motion, and especially the food. I seriously crave carbohydrates and mostly salty. I've eaten dry spaghetti because I was so hungry. One thing left off from that list was impatience, a lot of time the reason I eat junk food, even though I don't even enjoy it and feel sick while eating it, is that I have to eat NOW! CAN'T WAIT, NOW!I hadn't related my weird food habits to ADD, I know the connection but didn't really think about it. I've taken meds for depression, anxiety and ADD.

In Spain, we only seem to have access to methylphenidate RITALIN and Concerta, I think Strattera will be coming soon. I'm not fond of meds at all but sometimes it does help. What you can do is take Ritalin occasionally, I don't like Concerta cause it stays in your system for a long time and I don't like the side effects. I take Ritalin occasionally when I really need to. (Like when I HAVE to sort things out so I can be ditzy for the rest of the week and not get into serious trouble.)

I'm not worried about addiction or anything as I'm a monumental forgetter, I always forget to take my meds, and I've been using Ritalin for about a year now and over the years other meds for anxiety, sleep issues, depression. I did hate to take all those pills but I realize I needed them. But talk to your doctor of course. And if you are not feeling right, don't let them stuff the pills down your throat if you choose to take this path and watch your health carefully.And of course keep up the natural supplements. I take fish oil, good for depression, ADD, eczema, asthma and allergies (yep, I have all of those), borage oil, garlic capsules, vitamin E. Good luck

X: Aw! My heart

Thursday, October 25, 2007
Aw! My heart


Anyone who has taken drugs for ADD knows they can be dangerous for the heart.
There’s going to be a big study on the effects on the heart in the US , which is good I say.

I was taking Ritalin but I’ve stopped taking it for about 2 months because of heart concerns. My blood pressure is through the roof, 150/90 (I’m 20something, not fat), I don’t blame Ritalin but it didn’t help. I was doing exercise before my period and got really bad palpitations which scared me. I’m pretty sure I was having bad heartburn, but I had to get myself checked out, and went straight to the cardiologist.

I was taking Effexor before and birth control, and anyone will tell you I’m one of the most jumpy people they know. A major reason I don’t watch horror movies. I’m very anxious, with social anxiety and generalized anxiety and I have a list of medications I’ve been taking, lorazepam (tranquilizers), sertraline, Besitran (Zoloft US ), Prozac, and innumerable stuff to help me sleep. In Spain, it’s so easy to get tranquilizers and I had stupid docs, every time I went there, they just threw tranquilizers at me instead of dealing with me. You’ll probably get stabbed and they will say you are stressed and give you tranquilizers. After a while, I simply didn’t take this medication.

I left public health for my private insurance after I was feeling very suicidal, and my public doc told me to take tila (limeflowers ) for my nerves! Stupid bitch! I was standing in front of windows and debating whether I should throw myself out, and eyeing passing trucks thinking what if I simply didn’t move as the truck came down. And take fucking tila. I’m still so mad, I’m wondering if I should make an official complaint. So I went to a private psychiatrist who prescribed Effexor.

Effexor is a bitch. It raises your blood pressure for one, and I’d been asking whether I should get checked out. Oh, I was young, no need to worry said the doctor. And being ADD, I didn’t follow up. And now look at me.

Here it does say it’s transient, not in my case. It’s lingered for me. My blood pressure wasn’t this bad B/E (before effexor) and I’ve been really stressed. B/E it wasn’t the first time I was suicidal.

Prozac stopped my out of control eating, I was hungry all the time, but it didn’t do anything for my mood and neither did Zoloft. I did notice I was a bit more zombielike and apathetic on Prozac.
Effexor did balance my moods, cause I wasn’t just suicidally depressed, I was raging, and extremely irritable and I lost weight on one particular generic kind. Now that I’m still wondering about, they were both the same, 75mg, but one made me lose my appetite. I wasn’t interested in food and that was fantastic. The other one (Dopubal, Dobupal, I always get confused) didn’t affect my appetite. Before taking Effexor, I was throwing up on a regular basis, I was losing weight and then started on Effexor which wiped my appetite, I looked so cute!

My thighs, the bane of my life were slim and slender… yea, yea, anorexia/bulimia is not cool but I felt so in control, and that’s a feeling I’m not used to in all the years on this planet. I didn’t inhale food and finish everything placed in front of me. No impulse eating, control! I wasn’t a full bulimic as I wasn’t eating insane amounts, I just threw up when I ate something calorific which was most things.

So I’m waiting for more results from the cardiologist, hope it works out fine. I have to get a blood test and X-ray and keep forgetting to do them. Writing this out in my blog reminded me I had to call the hospital and find out when to go and I did :-)